Thursday, November 28, 2013

I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT I AM A NERD

... and I get these jokes.

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the Universe as bananas and non-bananas.

A mathematician belives nothing until it is proven
A physicist believes everything until it is proven wrong
A chemist doesn’t care
biologist doesn’t understand the question.

Golden rule of deriving: never trust any result that was proved after 11 PM.

How many professors does it take to replace a lightbulb??
One: With eight research students, two programmers, three post-docs and a secretary to help him.

Q: What’s a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
"Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."
"Hmm," says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."
"No," says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"

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