The problem with negativity is you often do not realize how bad it is,
or at least that how it is in my experience. I used to be so depressive,
pessimist and hopeless about life. I had this very fucked up view on what I
think I deserve and I don’t deserve; I let people underestimate me and look
down on me because I think I deserve it, and I never tried to get (or be) the
best simply because I don’t think I deserve it. From an outsider point of view,
I probably look like a psycho masochist or something, but for me it was normal.
Depressing yet normal. It was my mind, it was how I perceive world and how I
understand the world works. Trust me, if I can burn the content of my brain
into a DVD and play it for you, you will feel like you are watching Requiem for
a Dream or something.
Negativity is something that I identify with myself strongly, especially
when I was younger. After I distanced myself from my supposed source of
depression and grew a much, much better and positive new mindset, I looked back
and realized how awful my mental state was, mainly because it did not have
to happen. I was not a war or child trafficking victim – it is not like I was
subjected to a prolonged inescapable torture or something. But negative
perception to the world does not only happen to victims of these serious
situations – it can happen to everyone.
Example: Dan Howell.
I've been watching loads of his videos lately, and I can assure you he is the poshest, most articulate youtuber out there, so it is a good influence to your English speaking ability (not the swearing though). I reccomend it if you are sick of watching TedxTalk and want something lighter. Dan, who started
youtubing at the age 18, mainly vlogs about his social awkwardness,
procrastination and negativity, wrapped in sarcastic, witty humor. I think it mostly started
as a passive-aggressive way to deal with things he hates about himself (‘yeah
whatever this is me you wanna laugh go ahead’), but it turns out to be what distinguishes
him from other youtubers and he is known for the most. Now he is currently one of the most famous
Youtuber on the planet, has a successful career as radio presenter, and widely
acknowledged as a walking wet dream. And you know what; those negative traits
are still there. He still has existential crisis every two weeks and in videos when he has to unexpectedly interact with other human beings, I can
almost feel the awkwardness emanating through the screen.
See? Negativity is not a matter
of what happens to you, but how you react to those situations.
NEGATIVITY IS NOT A CHOICE
People usually blame depressive and negative people for their
hopelessness. “Be positive!,” “Get over it!,” or “Just forget about it
already!.” Woah, isn't that an awesome, informative, ground-breaking suggestion. I did not know
that what I have to do it is just to get over it.
That was sarcasm, in case you did not know.
There is a psychological attribute that prevents you from getting out of
negativity even though you are able to. It is called explanatory style. Remember that question ‘Is the glass
half-empty or half-full?’. Yup, that more or less is what this is about.
Explanatory style is ‘one’s tendency to offer similar sorts of explanation for
different events’ (Peterson, Buchanan & Seligman, 1995). It is the way
people explain good or bad thing that happens involving themselves along three
dimensions. The first is internal (they blame it on themselves) vs external
(they blame it on somebody else). The second is stable (they view it as something
permanent) vs unstable (they view it as something temporary). The last is
global (they think of it as a life-determining event that defines them as a
person) vs specific (they think of it as it is). People who have internal,
stable and global explanatory style are said to have a pessimistic explanatory
style, while people who have external, unstable and specific is called optimistic.
The question is, what are the determining factors? What makes a person
optimistic and other pessimistic? Eisner (1995) reviewed the studies in this
area and reported four different determinants of explanatory style. The first
is feedback from teacher, parents or
other influential figure, especially in young children. The second is modeling, which means that children develop
their explanatory style by adopting or mimicking the style of their significant
others or primary caregivers (i.e. parents). The third is genetic, a conclusion
after the difference in result of experiment involving monozygotic and dizygotic
twins. And the last, is learned helplessness effect.
We learned about this in class actually, which is the reason why I wrote
this. Learned helplessness effect is a condition in which an organism
forced to endure pain or similar unpleasant stimuli, is unwilling or unable to
avoid those stimuli even if they are provided a way to escape it, presumably because
they have learned that they have no control over it and whatever they do will
end up futile. Ovemier and Seligman (1967) did an experiment during which
they found out that dogs exposed to inescapable and unpredictable electric
shock in one situation later failed to escape shock in different situation
where escape is possible. Basically there are 2 groups of dogs; the first group
which has been trained a way to escape the pain show normal response and
recovered after a while, while the second groups, whose pain subjected to them
seemed to start and end at random, after a while shows a kind of ‘giving up’
behavior and stop trying to escape the pain, even though a way of release was
provided later on. This result contradicts the predictions by B.F. Skinner’s
behaviorism theory, which is by the way the leading psychological theory at the
time.
THE EFFECTS
People who are exposed to the feeling of helplessness on a regular basis
will most likely to develop a pessimistic explanatory style (‘It is because I’m
stupid’, ‘Fuck my life’, ‘My life is useless’, etc.). On the contrary,
pessimistic explanatory style can worsen the feeling of helplessness as well. Together
these make a never ending chain of misery that sucks you in and never let go.
These are the source of all those negativity, and it broadly affect a
person’s life. Learned self-helplessness and pessimistic explanatory style have
been linked to depression, poor motivation and lack of social effort. Children who
are constantly exposed to miserability (is that even a word?) they cannot control can develop pessimistic explanatory
style that last until their adulthood and in turn determine how they react to
everything that happens in their life. People may neglect medication, diet or
hygiene simply because they are conditioned to think that it is useless. Abused
or neglected children will very likely to choose a partner who also treats them
that way. It is impossible for them just look past the dark shadow engulfing their
mind at whim – it can be done, but it is not easy. There are therapy designed
for that, I forgot what it is called though.
Basically, everything that happen in our life programmed us to think
in certain way and to act out of what you are programmed to be is not an easy thing
to do. Just like how a conceited, overly optimistic person is very difficult to
accept criticism or admit fault. Therefore, next time you met a depressive
person, try not to judge them. We know we have to be grateful, positive, all
smiling and crap, but try to go to that from where we come from is hard, okay? Give us time.
Sources :
Seligman, M.E.P.; Maier, S.F. (1967).
"Failure to escape traumatic shock". Journal of Experimental
Psychology 74: 1–9.
Peterson, C., et.al. (1995). “Explanatory
Style: History and Evolution of the Field”. Explanatory
Style: 1-20.
Eisner, J.P. (1995). “The Origins of
Explanatory Style: Trust as a Determinant of Pessimism and Optimism.” Explanatory Style:49-56.
